With the start of a new month, I've heard a few people making the comment, 'Where has the year gone?' With our third house move this year looming, I know where our eight months has gone!
It's been a busy year as we've sold, rented, bought and renovated. Added to which there is family, work, writing and that little thing called 'having a life'. The list is in no particular order, although 'having a life' got tagged on the end almost as an after-thought, as it's been for a while!
I hear you either tutting, or taking a big breath to tell me how much busier you've been. But wait a minute....
That second paragraph, while entirely true, was written a little tongue-in-cheek. I listen to people at work, friends, acquaintances and passers-by talking, and everyone is BUSY. Not just busy, but BUSY!!
We seem proud of the amount of hours we have to work and our lack of spare time. It's almost a badge of honour. A way of showing how important we are. No longer are we talking about the new car/sound system/television we have, but rather our lack of time to use these items. Even children aren't immune. They seem to spend their lives being ferried around to after-school classes/clubs/social events with weekends full of teams and sports.
I'm not sure if it's worse than it used to be, or if being on-call 24/7 with email, smartphones and gadgets makes it feel that way. If I could bottle something that solved our time deprived lives, and sell it, I know I'd make a fortune.
There isn't really a one-size fits all solution. We have to find the answer ourselves. I think it begins with realising the effects this state of busyness has on us, keeping us in a state of near panic. If we're constantly running on adrenalin, we're not doing our physical and mental-selves any favours, and our decision-making capabilities are degraded.
Unfortunately, most of us aren't in a position to change everything in our lives. At the very least, I think we should stop for a few minutes at least once a day, and clear our minds of all those chattering thoughts that want to grab our attention. We should use the time to notice where we are and the things around us, and how we actually feel physically. In other words, to be exactly in that moment, rather than still continuing an argument we had earlier with someone, or still being angry with the driver who cut into the queue, or the other thousands of mostly inconsequential things that drag us away from enjoying NOW.
W.H. Davies wrote this poem in the early 1900s.
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad day light,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
Someone once said they doubted anyone would ask for the words, 'Wish I'd spent more time at the office,' on their tombstone.
It's a beautiful world out there. Appreciate it.
Showing posts with label Happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Happiness. Show all posts
02 September 2014
24 May 2014
Choosing Your Attitude
Yesterday I witnessed a most unusual incident, actually it was more than that, it was an extraordinary incident.
I was the third car at a junction, waiting to move onto a main road. It reasonably busy, as most people were on their way to work. My attention was on the two cars in front of me, but from what happened I guess there was a slight gap in the oncoming traffic, and the driver of the second car assumed the driver in front would go. You’ve guessed it, the first driver didn’t go, so the second car smashed into it.
I can hear you asking, so what’s unusual or extraordinary about that. In itself nothing, it’s what happened next that made it extraordinary. Both drivers got out of their cars. The female driver of the second car apologised, and was so obviously upset at causing the accident that the other driver, also female, gave her a hug.
I admit to a bit of gender bias here, but as I drove away after the incident, I was so impressed with the driver of the first car. The last thing anyone wants, or needs, on their way to work is to be involved in an accident. The damage wasn’t horrendous, but both cars will need to visit a garage. It wasn't an intentional act, but unfortunately our fast–paced lives seem to predispose us to anger. We react as if the other person did it intentionally, forgetting about the times we may have been in a similar situation and only narrowly missed causing an accident, and I certainly include myself in that.
If I wore a hat, I’d take it off to the lady yesterday morning. She turned what could have been an acrimonious encounter, into one that was resolved in a far more pleasant way. It certainly made me more aware (once again), of the importance (for our own well-being), of choosing our attitude rather than letting it be chosen by other people or situations.
On a lighter note:
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
I was the third car at a junction, waiting to move onto a main road. It reasonably busy, as most people were on their way to work. My attention was on the two cars in front of me, but from what happened I guess there was a slight gap in the oncoming traffic, and the driver of the second car assumed the driver in front would go. You’ve guessed it, the first driver didn’t go, so the second car smashed into it.
I can hear you asking, so what’s unusual or extraordinary about that. In itself nothing, it’s what happened next that made it extraordinary. Both drivers got out of their cars. The female driver of the second car apologised, and was so obviously upset at causing the accident that the other driver, also female, gave her a hug.
I admit to a bit of gender bias here, but as I drove away after the incident, I was so impressed with the driver of the first car. The last thing anyone wants, or needs, on their way to work is to be involved in an accident. The damage wasn’t horrendous, but both cars will need to visit a garage. It wasn't an intentional act, but unfortunately our fast–paced lives seem to predispose us to anger. We react as if the other person did it intentionally, forgetting about the times we may have been in a similar situation and only narrowly missed causing an accident, and I certainly include myself in that.
If I wore a hat, I’d take it off to the lady yesterday morning. She turned what could have been an acrimonious encounter, into one that was resolved in a far more pleasant way. It certainly made me more aware (once again), of the importance (for our own well-being), of choosing our attitude rather than letting it be chosen by other people or situations.
On a lighter note:
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
20 April 2014
Imagination
A few days ago I needed to call into our local shopping mall while I had the little people with me. It wasn’t especially busy, and the floors along the main walkway were nice and shiny, so within minutes the little people were ice skaters, doing loops and leaps, then a ballerina pirouetting. After that, they were lost in a forest on a snowy, slippery day (allowing them to skate again!).
There were shoppers around, but not enough to mean they were getting in anyone’s way. For the little people, nothing existed other than the story in their imagination.
I’m always fascinated by the way children can skate and dance and sing, at almost any time and anywhere, without embarrassment, or even being aware of other people.
I’m sure if I had the nerve to ‘skate’ along the mall, adding a few pirouettes and leaps, I’d receive more than a few odd looks. But wouldn’t life be a lot more fun if we could let our inner child soar more often.
There were shoppers around, but not enough to mean they were getting in anyone’s way. For the little people, nothing existed other than the story in their imagination.
I’m always fascinated by the way children can skate and dance and sing, at almost any time and anywhere, without embarrassment, or even being aware of other people.
I’m sure if I had the nerve to ‘skate’ along the mall, adding a few pirouettes and leaps, I’d receive more than a few odd looks. But wouldn’t life be a lot more fun if we could let our inner child soar more often.
20 December 2013
Have a Happy Day
Over the past couple of months we’ve had our own little mayoral problem here in Auckland. Internationally it hasn’t caught on, unlike the Toronto mayor, but it has kept the local papers busy.
The reason I mention it here is that on my way to work I saw the headline that it was a big decision day for the mayor and whether he would keep his job. I scanned the headline as I walked past and then continued thinking about work concerns (well I was on my way there), and the other personal and writing thoughts pushing through.
In our lives there are days we will never forget. Some of them are planned and anticipated such as a wedding, a milestone birthday or anniversary, or the birth of a child. Others happen when we least expect it: meeting someone who will have a big impact on our life, illness or the death of someone close. Those particular days, whether happy or heart-breaking, are momentous, but they are only momentous to us, and possibly to a few other people we know. Even hearing of the death of a favourite actor or famous person is unlikely to have the same effect on us.
For most of the time we’re unaware of these momentous occasions in other people’s lives. The people walking along the street around you may be bubbling with excitement and anticipation over an upcoming event, or in the depths of misery over the loss of someone close or an illness or health diagnosis.
I recall being very aware of this a few years ago when my father died unexpectedly, and instead of going to work that morning I found myself flying back to England. I looked around at the other people on the plane and wondered about their reasons for travel: holiday, business, family or some occasion not so happy.
We don’t know what’s going on in the life of others so why not give them a break if someone reacts unexpectedly or unpleasantly to us. Sure they may just be grumpy and rude all the time, but that’s their problem. However, they may be going through the worst day of their life.
I know it’s a cliché for this time of year, but by treating other people kindly we never know the effect it may have on them.
I still remember the unexpected pleasure and boost of happiness I had when a stranger smiled at me and wished me a ‘Happy Friday’ on the way to work one day.
If nothing else it will make you feel good.
The reason I mention it here is that on my way to work I saw the headline that it was a big decision day for the mayor and whether he would keep his job. I scanned the headline as I walked past and then continued thinking about work concerns (well I was on my way there), and the other personal and writing thoughts pushing through.
In our lives there are days we will never forget. Some of them are planned and anticipated such as a wedding, a milestone birthday or anniversary, or the birth of a child. Others happen when we least expect it: meeting someone who will have a big impact on our life, illness or the death of someone close. Those particular days, whether happy or heart-breaking, are momentous, but they are only momentous to us, and possibly to a few other people we know. Even hearing of the death of a favourite actor or famous person is unlikely to have the same effect on us.
For most of the time we’re unaware of these momentous occasions in other people’s lives. The people walking along the street around you may be bubbling with excitement and anticipation over an upcoming event, or in the depths of misery over the loss of someone close or an illness or health diagnosis.
I recall being very aware of this a few years ago when my father died unexpectedly, and instead of going to work that morning I found myself flying back to England. I looked around at the other people on the plane and wondered about their reasons for travel: holiday, business, family or some occasion not so happy.
We don’t know what’s going on in the life of others so why not give them a break if someone reacts unexpectedly or unpleasantly to us. Sure they may just be grumpy and rude all the time, but that’s their problem. However, they may be going through the worst day of their life.
I know it’s a cliché for this time of year, but by treating other people kindly we never know the effect it may have on them.
I still remember the unexpected pleasure and boost of happiness I had when a stranger smiled at me and wished me a ‘Happy Friday’ on the way to work one day.
If nothing else it will make you feel good.
15 December 2013
Memories
'History is memory, when our history is lost; our memory is always diminished.'
I jotted that quotation down in one of my notebooks some time ago, unfortunately I didn't make a note of where I found it or who said it, and therefore I’m not sure of the context of the quote, but it reminded me of an incident on holiday.
We spent a morning walking and enjoying spectacular views at Cape Byron, and during our visit we saw a pod of humpback whales. It was a brilliant half hour watching these magnificent creatures on their migration journey. Needless to say most people had their camera’s, phones or tablets out taking photos. As I stood next to a small group I overheard one of them say, ‘Why don’t you come out from behind your camera for a few minutes and just enjoy watching.’
The technology we have is brilliant. We can capture events and upload the photos or video for the world to see. A lot of the news information we gain comes from ‘people on the street’ watching events unfold. However with that ability to capture so much, we also lose a lot. I guess it comes back to being in the moment. When we’re constantly behind a lens, or a phone or tablet screen, we don’t actually see the view other than through a lens.
I wouldn’t swap the technology we enjoy, but we shouldn’t forget what our memories capture: the feel of a child’s hand in ours, the sun on our skin, the scent of the sea, the sound of the waves pounding the rocks and children’s laughter.
I don't need a photo to remind me of the sense of anticipation I had as a child on Christmas Eve, or going on holiday and wanting to be the first to catch that first glimpse of the sea, and the joy of holding my daughters as babies.
Yes, we should take photos and video, but we must live the memories as well.
I jotted that quotation down in one of my notebooks some time ago, unfortunately I didn't make a note of where I found it or who said it, and therefore I’m not sure of the context of the quote, but it reminded me of an incident on holiday.
We spent a morning walking and enjoying spectacular views at Cape Byron, and during our visit we saw a pod of humpback whales. It was a brilliant half hour watching these magnificent creatures on their migration journey. Needless to say most people had their camera’s, phones or tablets out taking photos. As I stood next to a small group I overheard one of them say, ‘Why don’t you come out from behind your camera for a few minutes and just enjoy watching.’
The technology we have is brilliant. We can capture events and upload the photos or video for the world to see. A lot of the news information we gain comes from ‘people on the street’ watching events unfold. However with that ability to capture so much, we also lose a lot. I guess it comes back to being in the moment. When we’re constantly behind a lens, or a phone or tablet screen, we don’t actually see the view other than through a lens.
I wouldn’t swap the technology we enjoy, but we shouldn’t forget what our memories capture: the feel of a child’s hand in ours, the sun on our skin, the scent of the sea, the sound of the waves pounding the rocks and children’s laughter.
I don't need a photo to remind me of the sense of anticipation I had as a child on Christmas Eve, or going on holiday and wanting to be the first to catch that first glimpse of the sea, and the joy of holding my daughters as babies.
Yes, we should take photos and video, but we must live the memories as well.
17 September 2013
Spring Bliss
At the moment I’m feeling in harmony with nature. It’s early
spring and just about light as I get up, which has allowed me to see a number
of beautiful sunrises as I do my run.
Spring is my favourite season, bringing with it a sense of renewal and possibility. On a more down to earth level it’s warmer than winter and not as humid as summer can be. Even after a number of years in New Zealand, it still feels strange that Spring arrives late in the year rather than being something I looked forward to as soon as the Christmas decorations were packed away. But whatever the month of the year, I enjoy this feeling of newness.
We’re on the east coast and so I see more stunning sunrises than sunsets, and that too gives a feeling of limitless possibility at the start of a new day. I gaze spellbound at the vibrant reds and yellows appearing from the sea and feel a sense of awe at being able to experience this.
What I try to realise, especially on the not-so-good days, is that this is external to me. Spring bliss is there for me to experience whenever I want to.
A sunrise, spring flowers, a clear blue sky or whatever makes you feel good - these things only reveal what is already inside us. The secret is to find that place when the external world is not showing us the glorious sunrise, dainty snowdrops or sweet-smelling freesias.
Happy searching.
Spring is my favourite season, bringing with it a sense of renewal and possibility. On a more down to earth level it’s warmer than winter and not as humid as summer can be. Even after a number of years in New Zealand, it still feels strange that Spring arrives late in the year rather than being something I looked forward to as soon as the Christmas decorations were packed away. But whatever the month of the year, I enjoy this feeling of newness.
We’re on the east coast and so I see more stunning sunrises than sunsets, and that too gives a feeling of limitless possibility at the start of a new day. I gaze spellbound at the vibrant reds and yellows appearing from the sea and feel a sense of awe at being able to experience this.
What I try to realise, especially on the not-so-good days, is that this is external to me. Spring bliss is there for me to experience whenever I want to.
A sunrise, spring flowers, a clear blue sky or whatever makes you feel good - these things only reveal what is already inside us. The secret is to find that place when the external world is not showing us the glorious sunrise, dainty snowdrops or sweet-smelling freesias.
Happy searching.
24 December 2012
Christmas in the Southern Hemisphere
We’ve survived the apocalypse, and it’s now Christmas Eve
and we're into the last few hours of shopping. We ask ourselves those Christmas questions - have we got presents for everyone? Do we have enough food to cope with that one day when the shops aren't open? Children, of course, are only concerned with whether the man in red will turn up with a full sleigh and all the reindeer.
I’ve spent Christmas in a number of different countries, but until arriving in New Zealand they had all been in the northern hemisphere, and so while some were warmer than others, it was still winter. Living in the southern hemisphere creates new Christmas traditions. We’re enjoying summer and have just had the longest day of the year, and although we don’t have the very high temperatures that Australia has, it is certainly warm here, in the mid to high 20s today.
Wherever you are, and however you celebrate, I hope you have a wonderful time with family and friends. Happy Christmas.
Christmas is a great time for traditions. We might forget what
we did last week, but we’ll usually be able to remember lots of
Christmas days we’ve enjoyed – who was with us and where we were, who set off
the big argument by saying something out of place, and the great (and
not-so-great!) presents we've given and received.
I’ve spent Christmas in a number of different countries, but until arriving in New Zealand they had all been in the northern hemisphere, and so while some were warmer than others, it was still winter. Living in the southern hemisphere creates new Christmas traditions. We’re enjoying summer and have just had the longest day of the year, and although we don’t have the very high temperatures that Australia has, it is certainly warm here, in the mid to high 20s today.
We have Christmas lights strung all around our deck and on the
Christmas tree, but as we have those long summer evenings the lights don’t actually
come on until late! On the other hand we
enjoy fresh strawberries and raspberries, and all the other lovely summer
fruits for Christmas dessert.
We’ve just returned from a couple of wonderfully peaceful days at a quiet beach an hour or so north of where we live. There was no mobile phone reception and no internet connectivity. The beach was beautiful and
the sea warm, and I read two books in the few days away, so I feel wonderfully
refreshed.
Wherever you are, and however you celebrate, I hope you have a wonderful time with family and friends. Happy Christmas.
12 October 2012
200 - Flashback Memories
A couple of weeks ago I missed my 2nd anniversary of blogging. Fancy forgetting that and missing the opportunity for a celebration! However this is another milestone - Post No. 200.
It's been fun meeting people through this blog and via their comments and emails, and also meeting them on Twitter and the occasional forum. Thanks for reading and here's to another hundred posts. Actually that's quite a daunting thought. I started blogging just before Driftwood was published, so it was a very exciting few months with lots happening, and so obviously lots to write about.
There have been plenty of times I've hit a blank spot when I've tried to write a post, but as with any type of writing, the more often you write (rather than thinking about writing), the more open you are to those triggers, thoughts and inspiration.
When I don't write regularly those flashes of inspiration seem to disappear. What I've realised is that they're always happening, it's more that I'm not in such a receptive mood and don't notice them. That's certainly a great reason for writing often.
Recently a friend commented she'd planted pea seedlings in her garden. My dad loved gardening, and when I was little he planted peas every year. He rarely got more than one cooked meal of peas because my mother and I loved eating them as 'sugar snaps'. I remember us so clearly in the garden. My mother would be hanging out the washing or some other job and I would be on the swing, and then we'd have a look at the plants to see if there were any peas just right for picking and eating.
We didn't have a very large garden, but it was a treasure trove of things to eat as my dad had various fruit bushes: blackcurrants, red currents, raspberries, gooseberries, as well as an apple and pear tree.
He always did wonder how come the peas only produced enough for one meal each year.
My mum died just over a year ago and this was a very special memory, something I'd not thought about for years and triggered by a mention of a friend planting peas.
In my first draft of Driftwood I had large chunks of backstory as sections. In subsequent drafts these became flashbacks, and finally through an assessment and editing some were removed and others cut down to what was absolutely necessary.
We often use flashbacks as a way of dumping backstory into our manuscript, and as a reader this often makes me skim over that part. There is a place for flashbacks, but they should be used carefully, and after honestly answering the question - Does the reader NEED to know this?
The other point that occurred to me, after thinking about my mother and I eating those pea pods, was the way the memory made me feel. I don't think I've really considered this while writing, but if our protagonist has been reminded of something that happened in their past, how does it make them feel? It may change their mood - they may have been happy, but the memory could stir feelings of anger, regret, sadness, and therefore change the way the rest of the scene continues.
My memory was a happy one, and it made me feel good.
It's been fun meeting people through this blog and via their comments and emails, and also meeting them on Twitter and the occasional forum. Thanks for reading and here's to another hundred posts. Actually that's quite a daunting thought. I started blogging just before Driftwood was published, so it was a very exciting few months with lots happening, and so obviously lots to write about.
There have been plenty of times I've hit a blank spot when I've tried to write a post, but as with any type of writing, the more often you write (rather than thinking about writing), the more open you are to those triggers, thoughts and inspiration.
When I don't write regularly those flashes of inspiration seem to disappear. What I've realised is that they're always happening, it's more that I'm not in such a receptive mood and don't notice them. That's certainly a great reason for writing often.
Recently a friend commented she'd planted pea seedlings in her garden. My dad loved gardening, and when I was little he planted peas every year. He rarely got more than one cooked meal of peas because my mother and I loved eating them as 'sugar snaps'. I remember us so clearly in the garden. My mother would be hanging out the washing or some other job and I would be on the swing, and then we'd have a look at the plants to see if there were any peas just right for picking and eating.
We didn't have a very large garden, but it was a treasure trove of things to eat as my dad had various fruit bushes: blackcurrants, red currents, raspberries, gooseberries, as well as an apple and pear tree.
He always did wonder how come the peas only produced enough for one meal each year.
My mum died just over a year ago and this was a very special memory, something I'd not thought about for years and triggered by a mention of a friend planting peas.
In my first draft of Driftwood I had large chunks of backstory as sections. In subsequent drafts these became flashbacks, and finally through an assessment and editing some were removed and others cut down to what was absolutely necessary.
We often use flashbacks as a way of dumping backstory into our manuscript, and as a reader this often makes me skim over that part. There is a place for flashbacks, but they should be used carefully, and after honestly answering the question - Does the reader NEED to know this?
The other point that occurred to me, after thinking about my mother and I eating those pea pods, was the way the memory made me feel. I don't think I've really considered this while writing, but if our protagonist has been reminded of something that happened in their past, how does it make them feel? It may change their mood - they may have been happy, but the memory could stir feelings of anger, regret, sadness, and therefore change the way the rest of the scene continues.
My memory was a happy one, and it made me feel good.
27 July 2012
Deadlines and Positive Thinking
I've just finished a work project with a very tight deadline. I've had more than a few of those this year, and I enjoyed a wonderful moment of lightness as I uploaded the documents, and metaphorically watched them disappear.
Deadline is a very negative word. Out of interest I looked it up in the dictionary, the first two definitions were exactly as I had expected, but there was a third.
'(Formerly) a boundary around a military prison beyond which a prisoner could not venture without risk of being shot by the guards.'
And I thought my deadline was bad!
When I'm not actually stressing about a deadline I enjoy the work I do, and the fact that mostly I work from home.
I realise that it's not so much the activity, but how I view it, that defines how I feel about it.
So taking this idea further - enjoying every day is about looking at daily activities in a positive way. Finding a way to make those tedious tasks more exciting or fun. That's what we do with children, make a game of putting away the toys or clothes, or even eating their vegetables.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Deadline is a very negative word. Out of interest I looked it up in the dictionary, the first two definitions were exactly as I had expected, but there was a third.
'(Formerly) a boundary around a military prison beyond which a prisoner could not venture without risk of being shot by the guards.'
And I thought my deadline was bad!
When I'm not actually stressing about a deadline I enjoy the work I do, and the fact that mostly I work from home.
I realise that it's not so much the activity, but how I view it, that defines how I feel about it.
So taking this idea further - enjoying every day is about looking at daily activities in a positive way. Finding a way to make those tedious tasks more exciting or fun. That's what we do with children, make a game of putting away the toys or clothes, or even eating their vegetables.
I'll let you know how it goes.
16 July 2012
Who Changed That...
I'm busy at the moment with various learning and development projects, but one thing that never seems to change is the sudden about-turn that's required when one project goes quiet for whatever reason, and another suddenly becomes vitally important with a deadline of yesterday.
I've often joked about the saying 'the only constant is change', but it's so true. How many industries and jobs are there now, that didn't exist 10 years ago?
This reminded me of a book I read a number of years ago - Who Moved My Cheese. If you haven't read it, then get a copy. It's a small book and doesn't take long to read.
Here are a couple of the points that resonated with me.
Change happens: Whether we want it to, or dread it. Whether we go with it or bury our heads, change happens.
The biggest inhibitor to change is you. Oh no it's not, we say, but it is comfortable here, and things are very nice. Why can't they stay the same?
When you move beyond your fear you feel free. This is an interesting one. I tend to think of fear as terror or horror, but fear is also something that stops us doing things. So when we push ourselves to get beyond it, we feel an amazing exhilaration. It's a great feeling, and there's nothing quite like it. We should all do it more often.
There's a difference between activity and productivity. Even knowing this, I still find myself busy, but not always productive. It's so easy to spend time on blog posts, emails, Twitter etc. and not actually produce the all-important word-count.
It also has a lot to do with making goals, and prioritising what's important.
Most of us don't have control over every hour of our day. We have work, families and other committments, but what about the hours we do have control over? What do we do in that time?
Do we spend it watching TV or on activities that contribute to our goals? Putting it like that makes it sound virtuous, but dreary. Ultimately we have to decide for ourselves. At the moment I'm very aware of time, and that we don't always have the endless supply of it we often imagine.
Change happens - embrace it, or at least deal with it.
Get busy and don't wait to live the life you've been dreaming.
I've often joked about the saying 'the only constant is change', but it's so true. How many industries and jobs are there now, that didn't exist 10 years ago?
This reminded me of a book I read a number of years ago - Who Moved My Cheese. If you haven't read it, then get a copy. It's a small book and doesn't take long to read.
Here are a couple of the points that resonated with me.
Change happens: Whether we want it to, or dread it. Whether we go with it or bury our heads, change happens.
The biggest inhibitor to change is you. Oh no it's not, we say, but it is comfortable here, and things are very nice. Why can't they stay the same?
When you move beyond your fear you feel free. This is an interesting one. I tend to think of fear as terror or horror, but fear is also something that stops us doing things. So when we push ourselves to get beyond it, we feel an amazing exhilaration. It's a great feeling, and there's nothing quite like it. We should all do it more often.
There's a difference between activity and productivity. Even knowing this, I still find myself busy, but not always productive. It's so easy to spend time on blog posts, emails, Twitter etc. and not actually produce the all-important word-count.
It also has a lot to do with making goals, and prioritising what's important.
Most of us don't have control over every hour of our day. We have work, families and other committments, but what about the hours we do have control over? What do we do in that time?
Do we spend it watching TV or on activities that contribute to our goals? Putting it like that makes it sound virtuous, but dreary. Ultimately we have to decide for ourselves. At the moment I'm very aware of time, and that we don't always have the endless supply of it we often imagine.
Change happens - embrace it, or at least deal with it.
Get busy and don't wait to live the life you've been dreaming.
11 June 2012
My Desk
The past few months I've been working for a couple of companies in the city centre. It's been good meeting new people as working from home can be solitary, though I think that's why I enjoy it. Today I'm back at the dining table, which passes for my desk. To be honest we rarely eat at the table as it's usually piled high with paperwork for my paying projects, receipts I need to enter for tax, and research stuff for the book I'm trying to finish, as well as articles that have interested me etc.
I love the dining table; it's the type of table I've always wanted. A solid (read heavy) piece of real wood. About six or seven years ago we walked into a café for something to eat (obviously), and sat at a table, when I realised this was the type of table I'd always wanted.
I asked the girl at the counter about them, and found out that the chef's brother was a carpenter, and had made them. Lady luck, good fortune, whatever - I rang him and a few weeks later I had my dining table. He makes them in Kauri, which is a treasured wood in New Zealand, and which unfortunately we couldn't afford, and also Macrocarpa. The Macrocarpa is lovely, and when it was new it had the most amazing smell.
I'm writing at my desk and I'm very happy.
I love the dining table; it's the type of table I've always wanted. A solid (read heavy) piece of real wood. About six or seven years ago we walked into a café for something to eat (obviously), and sat at a table, when I realised this was the type of table I'd always wanted.
I asked the girl at the counter about them, and found out that the chef's brother was a carpenter, and had made them. Lady luck, good fortune, whatever - I rang him and a few weeks later I had my dining table. He makes them in Kauri, which is a treasured wood in New Zealand, and which unfortunately we couldn't afford, and also Macrocarpa. The Macrocarpa is lovely, and when it was new it had the most amazing smell.
I'm writing at my desk and I'm very happy.
09 June 2012
Happiness PS
As I walked through Aotea Square to work yesterday morning I passed a lady I didn't know, (not an unusual occurrence I agree), she smiled as we passed and said, 'Happy Friday.'
I was already feeling quite happy (well it was Friday!), but it made me smile.
Such a simple thing, but I hope it made her feel as good as I did.
Try it out on Monday!
I was already feeling quite happy (well it was Friday!), but it made me smile.
Such a simple thing, but I hope it made her feel as good as I did.
Try it out on Monday!
04 June 2012
Happiness
I'm just back from a few days away. Very restful days - walking on the beach and lots of reading. It was great, maybe not everyone's idea of how to spend a long weekend, but I enjoyed it.
Happiness can be elusive. One of those things we notice when it's not there, or when we experience it to an extreme.
While walking along the beach yesterday, we came to an area of channels running down to the sea; some were deep enough to mean wet feet, and as I watched I noticed how fast the water ran in those deeper channels.
Very like us I guess. Unless we make an effort it's easy to settle for the same thing - a feeling of not quite unhappiness, but definitely not close enough to what we should be feeling.
There are some things that maybe we can't change - we need to go to work etc. But there are things we can change.
The past couple of months I've been working in an office in the city centre. I drive to the Park and Ride each morning between 6.30 and 7am to catch the bus. I made a deliberate choice from the beginning to smile and wish the bus driver a good morning as I took my ticket, and to thank them as I got off. Do you know what? Most smiled back and said something nice, but even if they didn't I felt much better for smiling. Not a great scientific experiment, or even original, but I don't care. It makes me feel good.
A few weeks ago I saw this article on where the world's happiest people are. I did have an irreverent thought as I read the third paragraph - I spend a lot less than two-and-a-half hours a day doing housework!
Finishing on a positive note - reread the last paragraph of that article. The way to have positive experiences is to be positive, be aware of how you're feeling, and how you're projecting that emotion to others.
Okay lecture over! Just make sure you have a GREAT week.
Happiness can be elusive. One of those things we notice when it's not there, or when we experience it to an extreme.
While walking along the beach yesterday, we came to an area of channels running down to the sea; some were deep enough to mean wet feet, and as I watched I noticed how fast the water ran in those deeper channels.
Very like us I guess. Unless we make an effort it's easy to settle for the same thing - a feeling of not quite unhappiness, but definitely not close enough to what we should be feeling.
There are some things that maybe we can't change - we need to go to work etc. But there are things we can change.
The past couple of months I've been working in an office in the city centre. I drive to the Park and Ride each morning between 6.30 and 7am to catch the bus. I made a deliberate choice from the beginning to smile and wish the bus driver a good morning as I took my ticket, and to thank them as I got off. Do you know what? Most smiled back and said something nice, but even if they didn't I felt much better for smiling. Not a great scientific experiment, or even original, but I don't care. It makes me feel good.
A few weeks ago I saw this article on where the world's happiest people are. I did have an irreverent thought as I read the third paragraph - I spend a lot less than two-and-a-half hours a day doing housework!
Finishing on a positive note - reread the last paragraph of that article. The way to have positive experiences is to be positive, be aware of how you're feeling, and how you're projecting that emotion to others.
Okay lecture over! Just make sure you have a GREAT week.
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