Fascinating Phrases

Although companies talk a lot about using 'Plain English', I think it's still as far away as ever. On the positive side a lot of it makes me smile.

A sign on a door says, 'This door is alarmed.' Every time I see it, I wonder what's worrying the door.

In an email recently I came across this gem. This document was socialised. I know people socialise their dogs, but documents!

Another one was 'obtaining a rate via a skeleton' - hmm, that paints a vivid picture.

In the past couple of days I've heard two phrases that always irritate me.

'Almost exactly' and 'almost unique'. 

I won't bother with the rant, it is the weekend.

What funny phrases have you come across recently, and what are the misuses of words that irritate you most?