16 March 2012


Recently I did a writing exercise - a room and a memory in less than 100 words.  This was mine.

'Four years later, and James and I sit in the counsellor's room.  We've sat in so many, together and individually.  This one is marriage guidance - a last chance.
I can remember a time when we were both happy, before Emily.  We would lie in our bed as the early morning sun lightened the room, or watch the full moon rise over the elms.  Matthew lying on his side facing the window, while I snuggled close, our bodies fitting together like spoons in a drawer.'

I know it's not the most amazing piece of writing, but at the moment that's not the point.

As I wrote, this couple and their situation were very clear to me, so clear that I was surprised when everyone concluded that Emily was the other woman.  From the few words in the writing that assumption is not wrong, but it's not how I saw the scene.

To me this couple have not been able to get over the grief of losing their baby daughter, Emily, aged just five weeks. They've been to grief counselling, seen therapists and tried all they can, but ultimately it feels that being together with their grief, is harder than being alone.

The perspective changes depending on where you sit. That's one of the things I love about writing.

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